What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize