There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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