apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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