im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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