are you still at the devil's house?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
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stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
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I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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