Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
