Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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