did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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