i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
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Did I show you my penis last night?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
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He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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