I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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