.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
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my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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