No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize