Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize