I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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