sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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