Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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