I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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