just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize