Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize