I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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