In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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