"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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