guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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