He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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