There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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