bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
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After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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