Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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