Is it normal to miss your booty call?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Are we still banned from the library?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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