Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
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Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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