im six kinds of drunk right now
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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