I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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