I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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