I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
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Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
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Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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