Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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