Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize