the new term for farting is butt boxing.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The air was thick with penises
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize