Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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