Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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