Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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