Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
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You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
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I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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