We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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