at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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