theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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