it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
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