dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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