Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize