So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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