I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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