i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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