nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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