I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize